Housemates Have Moved Out!!

The housemates have moved out!! Sorry it didn't work out. I wasn't the best of housemates and i certainly havn't been very supportive or caring or loving or whatever you want to call it. Now it's just Amy and myself in this big three bedroom, two bath, two large family rooms, with hottub in the backyard, privacy fence, and detatched garage.
What did I think I was getting myself into in the first place on that dark and snowy night in dec '08 anyway? I was fairly certain my marriage was in the shit. The rest of it I was just playing by ear. In hind sight, oh, that ever crystal clear, 20/20, undeniable hindsight - I should have listened to my sea-mom, Pam; and found a place of my own. The proverbial shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Maybe, maybe not, would have saved myself a lot of trouble and drama? Oh, if only I knew then what I know now!
Must not fall into the woulda, couldas, shouldas, or into any other sort of negative mindset. Must learn from it all, be better for the experience and move forward, ever forward. Where ever forward may be. Some days may be better than others with Amy and my children and today has been a not so good one.
Have spent the better part of the day cleaning up the other bedroom, bathroom, vacuming, listening to Amy rant and rave about my lack of poor fathering skills. I've nearly had my fill. Have not ever claimed to be the perfect father. So I take it day by day.
We'll see what tomorrow brings. If I have to, I'll suggest to Amy that I pay her half the mortgage and utilities for two bedrooms, one bathroom, kitchen, yard, and half a garage privilages. I'll still cut the grass and do as I am able to around this property. Truth is, I like it here. I like this house and I don't feel like moving again.
If I can salvage a relationship with Amy, that would be great. That has yet to be seen. I am unable to afford a comparable place out on my own. Still under the child and spousal support bullshit. If only Dana would move out and then I could put my own place back together and maybe move back in. I like it here and am comfortable here. More comfortable now that the housemates have moved into their own place.
I'm not easy to live with and probably more difficult to love. Pam said I should have spent time by myself after I left Dana. Maybe I should have listened to her, there are a lot of thos maybes in my life. I look forward to tomorrow, an ever hopeful and brighter tomorrow. It's up to me to make it happen. So here I sit typing, broke, but not broken. One day at a time, always praying the rosary, and hoping. More to follow later.