Blame It On The Weather

Maybe it's the new year, mabe it's my diet, maybe it's my marriage, maybe I'm not drinking enough water or getting enough exercise or maybe it's the weather. Nearly the end of January and I'm still trying to get my shit together. Is this a perpetual "get my shit together" thing or something?
Trying to shake this melancholiness off. Havn't put the kayak out in the water or been running or cycling or much of anything except work. At least I'm not drinking more; in fact I've been drinking a whole lot less, maybe I just need to get drunk? I don't know. No increase in my bad ahbits of smoking or drinking, just trying to be a decent husband and good father. Seems like there's a lot to do around here and I'm the only one to do it.
No help from the wife or children. Hell, it's a fight to get them to pick up there shit and just get some semblence of organization for themselves! I have to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and serve it up too! Just what the fuck is going on here?
Taekwondo is a good thing when I do get down there but it certainly isn't fun as a family. I just show up by myself and get a decent workout. Money and the lack of it is the big fight with the wife and always will be. It's almost like I have 4 children at home besides the 3 I've fathered. Is this what marriage is supposed to be like? We're like prison inmates; if we're not fighting we're fucking, if we're not fucking we're fighting. That seems to sum up my marriage in a nutshell.
Work sucks too, lots of changes around there to and I'm not all to happy with them. Not much I can do about that except to protect my liscence and roll with the punches. I might have to find my balls and get a real job and get the hell out of there. Maybe I just need to set my professional sights a little higher, but each time I try to do that I get shot down. Third time's the charm?
My girls are growing up fast, took them out yesterday to the local college parking lot so they could practice their driving. They're just about ready for the open road so watch out! Driving is a basic skill and better for me to teach them the fundamentals than their mother or someone else. Few things as scary in life like getting out on the open road as a newbie driver but you get used to it. I teach mine to always look out for the other guy. Seems to me if one looks out for the other guy, driving is a whole lot more safe. Just make sure you have your shit wired tight before you get out on the road yourself, or for anything else in life.
Anyway, have to get up off my ass and run down to the credit union before the checks I've written bounce and and have to tow the car back. It stalled out there in the parking lot yesterday. Looks like I'm not going to get much else accomplished today. Have to go to work a twelve hour shift tonight too.