Finally Divorced!

Here it is the end of august and I'm just now getting my ass up to blog something. Found out, on 11aug, that my divorce finally went through. Still have to go down to the courthouse in Galveston and get the actual decree but my attorney's office has assured me that the paperwork has gone through, signed by the judge, myself, and now my ex-wife, and now I am legally divorced.
Like any good mexican, I went and got drunk, then went to the cemetery and visited my dead loved ones. I don't know why I did that, it's a bit of a blur still, but that's what I did. My mother and brother came to check on me.
Shouldn't have come as a shock, but it did. I left in december of 2008, it's august 2009 and now I'm actually divorced. Kind of feels different. Eight months to the day I left my now ex-wife and it's all legal now. Why should I feel so odd, out of place? It's not as if I left yesterday or last week. It's a full eight months. I feel I should have been prepared for the actual finalization.
I suppose the combination of eight months, going on living, waiting for the legal bullshit, then capping it off with the inevitable, well it was a bit of a shock. Am I happy? Happiness is relative to a lot of different things. Is this what I wanted? Now that I'm actually divorced, I don't know what I want-never did.
It's not easy to say or answer some questions. My world isn't so black and white, there's a big gray area in some parts of it. Maybe I'm all fucked up? I am in therapy. Maybe I've been traumatized by my marriage and I don't even know it? Maybe I need more help than I think?
Life goes on, I'm living. I'm rolling with the punches. It's not what happens to one in life, but how we deal with it. More to follow later.