Anyway, more to follow later, a real f-bomb. Names, dates, pics, addresses, cell phone numbers, etc, etc. As I said, will be very therapeutic for me. Sorry about the other parties involved. Oh well! Seriously doubt anyone will spend any time or energy on me or anything I'll post. Doubt anyone is reading this. If you are, I welcome a comment or two; even a question or word of warning. Will give it some time to stew a while.
Wednesday, July 08, 2015
Wondering if anyone is reading my blog
I'm back! Haven't posted anything in over a year. No real one reason, all sorts of shit. Guess this will be therapeutic. Except for one or two people at work, I doubt if anyone reads any post or my poetry or anything. Sound sad in one way, then liberating and empowering in another. Like a secret knowledge or underground artist on the loose. A tormented soul crying out. Creativity and art discovered after the artist/poet has died and only a then does someone say, "We never knew. Why wasn't he known? Why hadn't we heard about this one?"
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
I'm Still Here!
Has been a year since I've written anything in this particular blog. I do keep posting my poetry. The journey continues. One day at a time. Lots to write about but just not the motivation. I carry around scraps of paper with the edges worn of unfinished poems in my pocket. They'll be completed one day. Until the next time.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Personal Recipes IV
This is my personal trail mix recipe. It's a real hit with the crew at work. Lots of calories, so moderate intake. I keep it to half cup per serving when on the job.
It's a walmart special, meaning that all the ingredients can be found at walmart. Should you be able to grow your own or prep your own ingredients, that would make the flavor all the better. Amy toasted some oatmeal in the oven for one batch and it was delicious!
Ingredient sizes and amounts are determined by your personal preferences and how big a batch you want. I use the entire contents of the packages as they are sold except for the raisens and chocolate and any obvious amounts which are too much. It's limited by only what YOU want in YOUR trail mix. Your trail mix is unique to you and what you like.
Start with a party mix of nuts of your choice, whatever your favorites are or just one type of nut if you prefer only peanuts or almonds or cashews or pecans or whatever. I like the lightly salted with sea salt type or no salt at all. I use the entire can.
Now mix in some raisins of some sort. I like a mix of half plain raisins and half yogurt covered or chocolate covered raisins. I use the amount of the package of the yogurt covered raisens.
Mix in some chocolate. I used to use M and M's, now I use a mix of half and half milk chocolate and semisweet chocolate that you find in the baking section to bake cookies with. The amount I use is determined by how large a batch and how many other ingredients are going into the batch. Too much chocolate, if there is such a thing, can take from the flavors of the other ingredients.
I like to mix in a package of dried mixed berries. Sometimes dried banana chips or apricots or even prunes. All limited by your imagination. Toss all of this into a closed container or big mixing bowel and mix thoroughly.
One batch I mixed in some oven roasted oatmeal Amy had roasted up. It was the best. It's good for you in moderate amounts, bon apettit!
It's a walmart special, meaning that all the ingredients can be found at walmart. Should you be able to grow your own or prep your own ingredients, that would make the flavor all the better. Amy toasted some oatmeal in the oven for one batch and it was delicious!
Ingredient sizes and amounts are determined by your personal preferences and how big a batch you want. I use the entire contents of the packages as they are sold except for the raisens and chocolate and any obvious amounts which are too much. It's limited by only what YOU want in YOUR trail mix. Your trail mix is unique to you and what you like.
Start with a party mix of nuts of your choice, whatever your favorites are or just one type of nut if you prefer only peanuts or almonds or cashews or pecans or whatever. I like the lightly salted with sea salt type or no salt at all. I use the entire can.
Now mix in some raisins of some sort. I like a mix of half plain raisins and half yogurt covered or chocolate covered raisins. I use the amount of the package of the yogurt covered raisens.
Mix in some chocolate. I used to use M and M's, now I use a mix of half and half milk chocolate and semisweet chocolate that you find in the baking section to bake cookies with. The amount I use is determined by how large a batch and how many other ingredients are going into the batch. Too much chocolate, if there is such a thing, can take from the flavors of the other ingredients.
I like to mix in a package of dried mixed berries. Sometimes dried banana chips or apricots or even prunes. All limited by your imagination. Toss all of this into a closed container or big mixing bowel and mix thoroughly.
One batch I mixed in some oven roasted oatmeal Amy had roasted up. It was the best. It's good for you in moderate amounts, bon apettit!
Friday, June 29, 2012
Victoria Graduates High School
My oldest daughter, Victoria, graduated high school this month on the first. I am proud. She walked across the stage, received her diploma. It was a small class, less than a hundred graduates.
There is always something about your first child, my father used to say when I was growing up. I was recalling my own high school graduation. The only graduation ceremonies I ever participated in for myself were these school graduations. In college I didn't walk after earning my LVN, I went to work an overtime shift. I did get to see my former in-laws and even my sister who hasn't spoken to me for the last half year. More on that bull shit next month.
I emailed Victoria two weeks after the graduation ceremony about this milestone in her life. A crossroads of sorts, life gets good now. Real, even more real. This is the first time in ones life one does not have to be anywhere. In Texas, its law for children to go to school up till the 12th grade, anything after that is on the individual.
My own real education began after high school, in community college. This was the real deal, transferable credit, my own dollar, my own time, my own initiative. I was going to get out what I put into it. Still is when I should decide to go back to school.
As a parent, I wonder how these youngsters ever getting anything out of a public school education. I'm certain my father wondered the same about myself. He graduated from a catholic school. I went to catholic school for only 3 years in elementary school and 1 in junior high. I tried to send each of my daughters to catholic school, Victoria went for the first 6 years, Judith went successfully for grades 1-5, and Stephanie went only for kindergarten. After they each were held back one year, I place them in the local public school. They seemed to really blossom after that or perhaps were just not challenged enough.
My former father in law is a retired educator and feels that there is no difference between catholic based schools and public schools. I think there is a lot to be said for catholic education, it's worth the dollar. I would agree with my father in law in that a lot of a child's education is in the parents. Unfortunate for my daughters, their mother has done little for their education. It was always on me. She didn't even register them for school until after the divorce. Victoria and Judith were in high school by then.
I feel a successful education is a partnership between the child, the educator, and the parent. Each has to do their part or the student suffers. The student has to do it for their own self, the parent shouldn't do it for them, it's not for the parent. The educator should inspire, not just show up and follw a lesson plan. The educators I remember are the ones who inspired me. Parents are a child's first teacher and should show their children that education is a continuing life long endeavour.
My former mother in law is a diploma grad nurse, that is she graduated from a program of nursing which was not a college degree, a lot of hands on stuff. I don't believe these programs exist anymore. After nursing for over 20 years and working up to an administrative position, she had to go back to school to get a college degree in nursing, a BSN, to keep her job.
She just kept on going earning her masters in nursing.
My father in law has his masters in biology. My own father has his certificate in radiology technology, not a college degree. I followed in my father's foot steps, I'm an LVN. I am not a degreed individual, not yet any way. Since retiring, my father has let his licensure expire. He's let it go completely. My mother has worked all her life, not ever graduating high school or earning a GED.
Getting back to Victoria, she wants to go into nursing. Didn't that child learn anything from her father? More on that later. I couldn't be more more proud.
There is always something about your first child, my father used to say when I was growing up. I was recalling my own high school graduation. The only graduation ceremonies I ever participated in for myself were these school graduations. In college I didn't walk after earning my LVN, I went to work an overtime shift. I did get to see my former in-laws and even my sister who hasn't spoken to me for the last half year. More on that bull shit next month.
I emailed Victoria two weeks after the graduation ceremony about this milestone in her life. A crossroads of sorts, life gets good now. Real, even more real. This is the first time in ones life one does not have to be anywhere. In Texas, its law for children to go to school up till the 12th grade, anything after that is on the individual.
My own real education began after high school, in community college. This was the real deal, transferable credit, my own dollar, my own time, my own initiative. I was going to get out what I put into it. Still is when I should decide to go back to school.
As a parent, I wonder how these youngsters ever getting anything out of a public school education. I'm certain my father wondered the same about myself. He graduated from a catholic school. I went to catholic school for only 3 years in elementary school and 1 in junior high. I tried to send each of my daughters to catholic school, Victoria went for the first 6 years, Judith went successfully for grades 1-5, and Stephanie went only for kindergarten. After they each were held back one year, I place them in the local public school. They seemed to really blossom after that or perhaps were just not challenged enough.
My former father in law is a retired educator and feels that there is no difference between catholic based schools and public schools. I think there is a lot to be said for catholic education, it's worth the dollar. I would agree with my father in law in that a lot of a child's education is in the parents. Unfortunate for my daughters, their mother has done little for their education. It was always on me. She didn't even register them for school until after the divorce. Victoria and Judith were in high school by then.
I feel a successful education is a partnership between the child, the educator, and the parent. Each has to do their part or the student suffers. The student has to do it for their own self, the parent shouldn't do it for them, it's not for the parent. The educator should inspire, not just show up and follw a lesson plan. The educators I remember are the ones who inspired me. Parents are a child's first teacher and should show their children that education is a continuing life long endeavour.
My former mother in law is a diploma grad nurse, that is she graduated from a program of nursing which was not a college degree, a lot of hands on stuff. I don't believe these programs exist anymore. After nursing for over 20 years and working up to an administrative position, she had to go back to school to get a college degree in nursing, a BSN, to keep her job.
She just kept on going earning her masters in nursing.
My father in law has his masters in biology. My own father has his certificate in radiology technology, not a college degree. I followed in my father's foot steps, I'm an LVN. I am not a degreed individual, not yet any way. Since retiring, my father has let his licensure expire. He's let it go completely. My mother has worked all her life, not ever graduating high school or earning a GED.
Getting back to Victoria, she wants to go into nursing. Didn't that child learn anything from her father? More on that later. I couldn't be more more proud.
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Poetry In My Pocket
For some years now, I do not recall precisely how many, perhaps the last 8 or 10; I have carried poetry in my pocket. Not complete poems but bits and pieces I am working on. Some will remain on these sheets of paper for years before I get to them or make any progress towards their completion.
Mostly it's just a line or an idea. Sometimes it's only a working title. I look them over to get the proverbial creative juices flowing. Some days are better than others. Lately, I feel I suffer from perpetual writer's block. I wonder if artists or other poets or writers do the same or similair? Hemingway carried a little black book or was it Kerouac? Painters and sketchers I'm certain doodle and do studies or exercises of some sort.
The folded sheets will get tattered and worn at the edges and corners and I'll transcribe them onto fresh paper. Once I misplaced them and was going apeshit tearing about the house and truck and backtracking in a frantic search for them. I thought they were caught in the wash, but thankfully I found them. My anxiety relieved.
One of these days I'll get to them. Writing is work, so I've read. Poets are supposed to challenge themselves daily or do writing exercises or such. Maybe they're the successful ones? Anyway I'll get back to those sheets of paper today or tomorrow. The edges and corners are so worn there are holes in them. time to transcribe them or actually get to work on them or something.
Mostly it's just a line or an idea. Sometimes it's only a working title. I look them over to get the proverbial creative juices flowing. Some days are better than others. Lately, I feel I suffer from perpetual writer's block. I wonder if artists or other poets or writers do the same or similair? Hemingway carried a little black book or was it Kerouac? Painters and sketchers I'm certain doodle and do studies or exercises of some sort.
The folded sheets will get tattered and worn at the edges and corners and I'll transcribe them onto fresh paper. Once I misplaced them and was going apeshit tearing about the house and truck and backtracking in a frantic search for them. I thought they were caught in the wash, but thankfully I found them. My anxiety relieved.
One of these days I'll get to them. Writing is work, so I've read. Poets are supposed to challenge themselves daily or do writing exercises or such. Maybe they're the successful ones? Anyway I'll get back to those sheets of paper today or tomorrow. The edges and corners are so worn there are holes in them. time to transcribe them or actually get to work on them or something.
Monday, March 26, 2012
On a CPAP now and other ramblings
Started using a CPAP for treatment of severe obstructive sleep apnea this month. It's a pain in the ass and inconvenient. I really don't like it but am taking this as the proverbial wake up call to drop weight and take better care of myself.
Since the divorce and getting with Amy, I've gained a good 30lbs. When I was with Dana, I weighed about 215-220 on average. Now I've ballooned out to an average of 240lbs. I need to do something.
The CPAP does make for a more restful sleep and has eliminated the snoring. In the weeks before starting it, I started to get out more with the walking and cycling and getting busy around the house. Even started to get out more and get up to the museum district in Houston and a chess club in Galveston.
Also started counselling with Dana and the Depelchin Institute. Will see how that goes. Dana has been using the techniques on herself and it shows some. Stephanie's behaviors have changed for the positive also. The three of us, Dana, the counselor, and myself meet here at our home in Texas City weekly. It can be a pain in the ass with working nights and juggling Dana's schedule which is bullshit as she isn't working full time. Dana still does the part time job at SUMC and makes no effort to find better employment. She started school again at UHCL to finish her degree in education. At least the counselor is cute to look at.
Most sessions, Dana bitches about her problems but this is becoming less frequent. I do as I am asked. It really isn't anything new. The techniques taught are the same things I would have done if I had support from Dana or from Amy. When it comes to my daughters, I feel like I don't get help from anyone and God is my only friend.
I have started using the techniques with the girls, but it's all material I've used in one way or another in my way as a father. Nothing new there. As a parent, I've always felt I was going at it alone. No help from anyone else except God. Have always felt that Dana didn't pull her share of the load and was certainly not understanding in anyway. Still feel that way now. However now Dana is getting a taste of what it is to actually support a family, work, pay bills, deal with everything and everyone. It's only a taste though and no real measure of any amount of what parenting is. Good luck, she's going to need it. Pray.
I am not perfect as a parent, far from it, but I've always felt and have been told that I always did the bulk of the parenting. I have no qualms or regrets about fatherhood. I may not do well as a spouse to any woman, but I do my damndest as a father. I'm unable to put it any better way in words.
Am going to get eady to get Stephanie and take her to her appointment and then I can get some rest.worked last night and am running on about 2hrs sleep in the last 24. All a part of fatherhood. No regrets.
Since the divorce and getting with Amy, I've gained a good 30lbs. When I was with Dana, I weighed about 215-220 on average. Now I've ballooned out to an average of 240lbs. I need to do something.
The CPAP does make for a more restful sleep and has eliminated the snoring. In the weeks before starting it, I started to get out more with the walking and cycling and getting busy around the house. Even started to get out more and get up to the museum district in Houston and a chess club in Galveston.
Also started counselling with Dana and the Depelchin Institute. Will see how that goes. Dana has been using the techniques on herself and it shows some. Stephanie's behaviors have changed for the positive also. The three of us, Dana, the counselor, and myself meet here at our home in Texas City weekly. It can be a pain in the ass with working nights and juggling Dana's schedule which is bullshit as she isn't working full time. Dana still does the part time job at SUMC and makes no effort to find better employment. She started school again at UHCL to finish her degree in education. At least the counselor is cute to look at.
Most sessions, Dana bitches about her problems but this is becoming less frequent. I do as I am asked. It really isn't anything new. The techniques taught are the same things I would have done if I had support from Dana or from Amy. When it comes to my daughters, I feel like I don't get help from anyone and God is my only friend.
I have started using the techniques with the girls, but it's all material I've used in one way or another in my way as a father. Nothing new there. As a parent, I've always felt I was going at it alone. No help from anyone else except God. Have always felt that Dana didn't pull her share of the load and was certainly not understanding in anyway. Still feel that way now. However now Dana is getting a taste of what it is to actually support a family, work, pay bills, deal with everything and everyone. It's only a taste though and no real measure of any amount of what parenting is. Good luck, she's going to need it. Pray.
I am not perfect as a parent, far from it, but I've always felt and have been told that I always did the bulk of the parenting. I have no qualms or regrets about fatherhood. I may not do well as a spouse to any woman, but I do my damndest as a father. I'm unable to put it any better way in words.
Am going to get eady to get Stephanie and take her to her appointment and then I can get some rest.worked last night and am running on about 2hrs sleep in the last 24. All a part of fatherhood. No regrets.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Happy Birthday Stephanie!
Today is my youngest daughter's birthday! She's twelve today. I won't see her till next week as I am working, she's out at the movies with her mom and sisters and grandparents. I love and miss each of my girls. They're growing up so fast. I really need to get out there and spend more time with them. So much to do at that house. I get on the facebook and keep tabs on their posts and pics, I do not post much on facebook myself. I do post on this blog though I doubt they or any one else really reads it. I suppose it's therapuetic in a way.
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